Are we in a gay sports bar?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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