umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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