pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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