she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
