Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
