I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
