Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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