I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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