That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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