Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
