as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
