so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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