Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
