Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Soap is not a condiment
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
