dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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