i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
