So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
