Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
