You can't motorboat a personality
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
