I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
