she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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