An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
