I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
