just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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