Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
