It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize
