I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
