So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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