i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
