I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
