Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I lost the right to judge tonight
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
