hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
