Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
