dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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