I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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