Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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