screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
