why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
