That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
