Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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