are you so shy because you have an std?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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