Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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