In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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