He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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