So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
God I need to hump something, right now.
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