everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
