As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
