yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
