I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
