Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
