On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
